Simply Crazy (Jaded, Book One) Page 3

  Powering up my laptop, I figured I could focus on knocking out some paperwork in the thirty minutes I had to spare until my interviewee arrived. Forty-five minutes later, I was growing increasingly frustrated that they hadn’t shown up. I started to bark at someone to get me the résumé so I could make sure and write in big, red letters not to consider the person again, but remembered no one in the office would have the first clue where the fucking résumé was. Probably mixed in with the seven-hundred sheets of paper scattered around my desk and on the floor.

  I was going nuts in this atmosphere. My apartment was pristine; I liked my life to be neat and orderly. But business had grown faster than I ever could have anticipated and I just couldn’t keep up. Too many hats and not enough time in the damn day.

  Someone knocked on my door. It had to be my interviewee since my employees had the annoying tendency to just walk-the-fuck-in to my office uninvited. Flicking my wrist over, I checked my watch and grumbled. Almost thirty minutes late. I couldn’t employ someone who wasn’t capable of showing up on time to an interview. As far as first impressions went, this one was already blown.

  My back ached as I stood from behind my desk. Sleep didn’t come often and when it did, it didn’t stay long. It didn’t help that I was wearing a suit. Most days I dressed like the rest of the guys with jeans or khakis and our standard issue polo, but when I knew ahead of time I’d be meeting with higher paying clientele, I tried to look the part. This was day two in a row of having to wear a damn suit because of Clarissa, whose name made me shudder.

  I jerked the door open, but before I could get a word out, the woman in front of me squealed.

  “Oh my gosh! Small world!”

  I was too stunned to speak. This had to be a joke. The guys had teamed up with some sort of prank show and they were screwing with me. It was the only explanation. Why else would my crazy next door neighbor be once again pushing into a place where she was clearly not invited?

  “Uhm, Blaire.”

  “Blake.”

  “Okay. What are you doing here?”

  “I’m your new assistant, dummy,” Blake said in a way that indicated she truly found me stupid. Three tours overseas where I spent months not even blinking an eye when in the face of danger, yet a few seconds spent near Blake and I considered crying out for help.

  “You’re here for an interview?” My voice came out a couple octaves higher than normal so I cleared my throat. I really should have paid more attention to the names on the damn résumés. Then again, that’d been a week ago and I hadn’t known her name back then, so I probably wouldn’t have connected the dots ahead of time anyway.

  “Well, yeah, but now that I know it’s my new bestie that’s hiring, I figured I was a shoo-in.” She must have seen the look on my face because she rolled her eyes. “I know we just met and I didn’t know who you were last night but now that I do, it’s kinda perfect, right? We can ride to work together and talk shop when we hang out after hours and-“

  “Whoa. I’m going to stop you right there.”

  Her eyebrows shot up at the interruption but she didn’t seem put out by it.

  “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression last night. It had been a long day and you caught me off guard with the whole knee-to-the-balls thing. But I don’t really do the whole friend thing.”

  “You don’t have friends?”

  I shook my head at her annoying interruption.

  “Not the point. The point is, you and I are not friends. And now that I know you, there is absolutely no way I can employ you.”

  “One chance,” she said quickly.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “One chance. Give me today to prove to you I can do the job. If by the end of the day, you still think I’m not a good fit, I’ll leave and won’t bother you again.”

  Over the years I’d been called several things, but foolish had never been one of them. Yet there I was, considering her offer - like an idiot. Because no way in hell was giving her any sort of chance a good idea.

  “You won’t bug me at home either?” Even as I warily asked the question, a tinge of regret pricked at me. Did I really want her to leave me alone? But in the end, it didn’t matter what I wanted. Less than a day after meeting her and she’d already been a distraction. Having her in my life would no doubt wind up being a mistake.

  Something akin to hurt flashed in her eyes, but was quickly replaced with determination. She nodded curtly and held her hand up with her thumb extended and her fingers parted between the middle and ring finger.

  “Why are you giving me the Vulcan salute?”

  “The what?” Her face scrunched up and she looked at her hand. “I was giving you the Boy Scout promise.”

  A laugh burst out of my throat before I could stop it. The jerk of my stomach muscles and the upward tilt of my mouth felt completely foreign. Thankfully, Blake had no idea just how fucking uncommon it was for me to laugh. I showed her the correct way to do the hand gesture, but instead of being embarrassed, she shrugged like it was no big deal.

  “Alright, well I’m going to go get to work. I’ll see you at the end of the day, boss.”

  Blake turned on her heel to leave, but halted with one foot out the door when I called out to her. She spun to face me, but kept one hand on the door knob. “Sup, CJ?”

  Liam passed by and snickered. He tried to stifle it when I glared at him. “You can call me Mr. Jade,” I ordered with a deep, commanding tone not unlike the ones my drill sergeants gave me during my days of basic training. Anyone else would have snapped to attention, heeding the unspoken warning.

  Not Blake. Of course Blake would find it impossible to show me even an inkling of respect. She just rolled her eyes before giving me an exaggerated, mock salute.

  “Sure thing, Mr. Jade.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. Though I had to grate my teeth together so as to not say something I’d regret, my dick made the decision to suddenly join the conversation as if she were speaking to him directly. The woman was infuriating, but instead of making me want to get rid of her for good, my frustration manifested in the image of bending her over my knee and spanking her pretty ass until it was pink.

  One look, a few words - that was all it took for Blake to get under my skin. And that pissed me off. A lot.

  So I did what any rational man would do when he was worked up over a woman he shouldn’t and couldn’t want.

  For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, I slammed the door in her face.

  CHAPTER THREE

  BLAKE

  “I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

  - Edgar Allan Poe

  Yep. It was official. I had officially lost my freaking mind.

  What was it about this guy that just turned me into the worst possible version of myself?

  Okay, so I was pretty outspoken and overbearing and more than a little crazy all on my own. But usually I held it in a little better until someone got to know me. Not with CJ. Nope, with him, I just projectile vomited every bad quality I owned all over him. Seriously, it was compulsive. My filter wasn’t just failing me, it had gone on vacation to lands unknown for an unforeseeable amount of time.

  People were never a problem for me. Yes, I was blunt to the point of excess and tended to just say whatever was on my mind, but I didn’t say offensive or hurtful things and people tended to like my up-front personality. I had a lot of quirks - and we’re talking a lot - but when it came to dating, I’d always been able to hide them until at least the third date. Some girls wait until the third date before sleeping with a guy. I waited until the third date to unleash all my crazy. I could usually tell by that point how they would react.

  What surprised me was how badly I didn’t want CJ to wind up being one of my horror stories. However, it seemed that I was determined to sabotage myself where he was concerned. When I called Michelle on my lunch break and told her the story of the previous night and the first half of my first-day-slash-
working-interview, she laughed non-stop for ten minutes. Literally. If she’d been in front of me, I would have punched her.

  “Not helpful, Chelle.”

  She was still wheezing and I could picture her wiping tears from her eyes.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve just missed this.”

  “What? Mocking me?”

  “Yes. I mean no. I just mean I miss your stories. This is such a typical Blake-type situation. I swear, your life could be a sitcom.”

  “Ugh. Thanks for the sage advice, sis. I gotta get back to work. Could be my last - and only - day.”

  “Wait!” Michelle shouted just as I was about to end the call. “Seriously, how is it going?”

  According to the clock in the break room, I still had fifteen minutes, so I sat down at the wobbly table I’d just finished cleaning. I was starving, too. Not expecting to stay after my interview, I hadn’t packed any food. Sure, I could have left to grab something, but I was afraid when I came back the door would be locked and they’d never let me back in.

  “CJ has-“

  “He’s your boss?”

  “Yes.”

  “And neighbor?”

  I sighed. “Yes.”

  “Okay, proceed.”

  “How kind of you to give me permission to keep going after you so rudely interrupted me,” I deadpanned. “He has a prosthetic.”

  Chelle sucked in a quick breath. “How do you know? Where is it?”

  There was a chip on the linoleum surface of the table and I picked at it with my nail. “I’m not totally sure. I noticed it when we struggled in the hallway last night. The metal touched my leg, so it’s down by his ankle. I started to ask him about it but then he kicked me out of his apartment.”

  She snorted. “Only you would outright ask someone about something so personal when you first met them.”

  “Um, hello,” I drawled. “I don’t think there was much else I could do to make things worse, anyway.”

  “True.”

  Leaning back in the uncomfortable plastic chair, I let out a long breath. “This place is really cool but a total disaster. It’s so full of testosterone you could choke on it. I managed to get CJ’s office cleaned up and organized, which was nothing short of a miracle, so hopefully that impresses him when he comes back this afternoon. All the guys I’ve met so far have been really nice and talkative, with the exception of a few quiet, broody types.”

  “Are they hot?”

  The one named Sebastian - one of the broody ones - walked in right when Michelle asked the question and the timing made me laugh.

  “Um, yes, actually. It’s really weird. They could make a sexy calendar with the men that work here and sell enough to make them all filthy rich.”

  Sebastian choked on his drink and I winked at him. For a bunch of manly, muscular, badass looking dudes, they all seemed a little uncomfortable around me. Maybe it was my blatantly flirtatious demeanor, but I wasn’t hitting on any of them. I was just a natural flirt. They’d get used to it.

  If CJ kept me around, that is.

  Just as I ended my call with Michelle and started to head back to the main offices to find another task to do, since CJ gave me virtually no guidance at all and I was flying blind, I ran into the man himself.

  “Bossman!” I yelled way too loudly, my nerves getting the best of me. “How did the meeting go?”

  “That’s private,” he replied curtly. I didn’t like curt. Curt was a pet peeve of mine. I was going to help him get that stick out of his ass if it killed me.

  “Fair enough. I just finished my break and was about to get back to work. Anything specific I can do for you?”

  He walked briskly while I talked. Probably in an effort to get away from me. I jogged to keep up with him anyway. Jogging proved to be a bad idea when he came to a dead stop just inside his office. Stilettos weren’t exactly shoes you could skid to a stop in, so I wound up bumping into his back.

  “What the fuck happened in here?”

  Giving myself a mental pat on the back, I smiled and waited patiently for the onslaught of praise and gratitude. Hell, I half expected him to fall at my feet and beg me to never leave. His office had been a complete disaster when I first walked inside, but now? All the papers strewn all over his desk and floor were neatly alphabetized and stored in the filing cabinet, and the floor was vacuumed and every surface dusted. My first day, and I deserved to be crowned freaking employee of the century.

  Imagine my surprise when he spun around and glared at me. Nostrils flaring, vein in his neck popping out, face turning red. He was livid, though I couldn’t fathom why.

  “I never said you could go into my office. My office is off limits,” he growled through gritted teeth.

  Do not roll your eyes. Do not roll your eyes. Do not roll your eyes.

  “I’d apologize, except you should have made that clear this morning. You didn’t tell me what to do, what not to do, what was on or off limits.”

  “That’s because I didn’t have a chance! You barged in here, demanding a job, and I was too afraid to say no because crazy people are so fucking unstable!”

  His growling had turned to outright yelling. Heat crawled up my spine, the telltale signs of embarrassment and anger. How dare he act like such a jerk when I’d done nothing but be nice! Sure, I was a tad overbearing, but I hadn’t been mean. Hadn’t done anything to deserve being spoken to that way.

  “Christopher Finnegan Jade!”

  Before I could unleash all my fury onto him, someone called out his name. All the blood drained from CJ’s face. Following his line of sight, I spun to find a portly woman, all of five-foot-nothing glaring at CJ with her hands on her hips. She looked to be about my mom’s age, maybe a little older. Tiny, but fierce, she looked at CJ like she could shoot laser beams from her eyes.

  “Mom? What are you doing here?”

  Oh God. She was his mom? Though none of them were in sight, I heard a few guys smothering laughs, so it was obvious they were nearby and eavesdropping. Finnegan? Seriously? Storing that tidbit for later mocking.

  “Is that any way to talk to a lady?”

  “I’m sorry, mother,” he apologized like a chastised little boy. When he tried to pull her into a hug, though, she pushed him away.

  “I don’t mean me. I mean her!” She yelled, pointing her finger at me. My eyebrows shot up. Me? I asked wordlessly, pointing at my chest. With CJ no longer facing her, he didn’t see the wink she gave me.

  “Apologize,” she ordered after a beat.

  I considered trying to edge myself out of the room. As hilarious as it was to watch a grown man getting scolded by his mother, the whole thing felt like a private affair. The polite thing to do would have been to excuse myself and make a quick escape.

  “Look at me like that for one more second young man without apologizing and I will tan your hide right here in front of all of your little friends.”

  Screw politeness. Life was too short to miss an opportunity to see CJ get spanked by his mom.

  “No, no, no,” I spoke up. “He doesn’t need to apologize. I’d much rather see him get a whoopin’.”

  Giants would shit their pants under the glare CJ leveled at me.

  Maybe I should have ran when I had the chance…

  When CJ made no move to argue with his mom or obey her orders, she walked over, looped her arm through mine and led me out of the room.

  “We’ll come back when you’re ready to apologize,” she tossed over her shoulder.

  She led me to the break room, where she sat me down and told me to stay put while she made us some coffee. What else could I do but obey? Since I was big on avoiding regrets where I could, sticking around for the duration of…whatever the hell was about to happen was the only option. CJ’s mom was the mad hatter, and I was too damn curious to not nosedive down the rabbit hole.

  “How do you take your coffee?”

  Ignoring her instructions to stay in my seat, I walked over to where the cream and sugar were sit
ting on the counter.

  “With way more sugar than any one person should consume at a time. Best if I just do it myself. Don’t watch; you’ll want to lecture me about it and drinking coffee without a bucket full of sugar just isn’t possible for me. Which means I’ll end up just giving it up out of fear that you’ll find out one day and threaten to spank me in front of everyone. I don’t particularly like living my life in fear, or without caffeine. The combination makes for a dangerous level of exhaustion.”

  Ignoring my instructions, she watched me unceremoniously dump half a container of sugar into my cup.

  “So, mom,” I started once we were both sat at the break table. “Can I call you mom? Tell me all of CJ’s embarrassing secrets so I can blackmail him into letting me keep this job.”

  Smiling, she took a drink of her coffee.

  “My name is Rose. Calling me mom will undoubtedly make my son crazy, so I suspect even if I weren’t okay with it, you’d do it anyway.”

  “Smart woman,” I complimented, raising my glass to her.

  “I suppose you’re wondering why I dragged you away.”

  I shrugged. Weird things tended to happen around me a lot. Admittedly, I instigated most of them, so that probably factored in to the frequency. Over time I’d learned to stop questioning things and just go with it.

  “I got a text from one of the boys here, telling me a woman had stormed in and commandeered a position at my son’s company. I had to see for myself if they were exaggerating the situation. Hearing Christopher yelling was proof enough.”

  That made me chuckle. The guys were tattling on me to Momma Rose. It felt like I was part of the family already.

  And there was no mistaking that this group of giants masquerading as mercenaries were a family. Sure, some of them had mostly kept to themselves, but the atmosphere notably changed when one of what I liked to call The Big Four were in the room ie Liam, Malcolm, Sebastian or Reed.