Farewell Apathy Page 4

  Would it be cruel to move on without him, or would it be a good thing for both of us in the long run? Wouldn’t continuing to have me in his life only cause him more pain, knowing I might never remember? He won’t open up to me about it, not wanting to ‘pressure me’, as he puts it, so I can’t really know what he’s feeling. The buzzing stops before I can even come to a decision on whether or not I’m going to answer.

  Oh well, I’ll call him later. Maybe tomorrow. Hell, I don’t know.

  If I had a comfortable bed to lay in I’d just sleep the day away, but this floor is killing me. Damn. Maybe I will take Keegan up on that offer to sleep on her couch tonight.

  Speaking of my bossy neighbor... I assume that relentless banging on my door is Keegan. Someone trying to rob or murder me wouldn’t be drawing that much attention to themselves.

  “Brailey, c’mon! I’m hungry!”

  We didn’t make breakfast plans, yet she acts like she’s waiting on me. I fully intend to snap at her when I swing the door open – because it should be illegal to bang on someone’s door before seven am – but she’s holding out a cup of coffee for me, and all is instantly forgiven.

  “I didn’t know how you take your coffee, so I just made it like I take mine.”

  Pretty sure I get insta-cavities with my first sip. “Holy crap, Keegan. Is there any coffee in this or is it just sugar?”

  “I think I put a couple teaspoons of coffee in there,” Keegan says with a laugh. “You can get yourself a coffee the way you like it at the diner. I need pancakes.”

  And so went my morning. Mix in a little guilt for not answering Mark’s call combined with my zombie-like state thanks to a restless night, and I was pretty miserable company.

  “B, what’s your deal. You’ve been distracted all morning,” Keegan asks me when I ask her to repeat herself for the third time on our walk back to our apartments. “All through breakfast it was like you were in another world. I’m pretty sure everyone in the restaurant just thought I was talking to myself.”

  “I’m sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind. Let me make a call real quick and then I promise I’ll focus on you and whatever guy it was you were just rambling on about.”

  Keegan jokingly nudges my shoulder and feigns offense. “Hey, his name is Dirk and he happens to be very good with his- “

  “Yeah, yeah, okay, you can tell me after this,” I interrupt her. Keegan stops along side me on the sidewalk and we move out of the way so other pedestrians can keep going. I pull up Mark’s cell number, and when he doesn’t answer, I decide to call his office. Maybe he’s at work.

  “Hey Marky,” I say when his voicemail picks up. He hates that nickname, and I get evil pleasure from using it whenever I can. “I’m sorry I missed your call this morning. I meant to check in with you last night like you asked but I had to go out and get all the stuff missing for my apartment, which was, ya know, everything. Anyway, I’ll try you again later.”

  I slip my arm through Keegan’s and tug, pulling her attention away from her phone and back to me. So weird that we only just met yesterday. Less than twenty-four hours, but it feels like I’ve known her for years. Of course, we’ve done a helluvalot of talking in that twenty-four hours, so I already know tons about her. Keegan is not stingy when it comes to sharing. In fact, she’s a little bit of an over-sharer. There are definitely some things I know about her that I would un-know if that were possible.

  Keegan spends the remaining three blocks talking about Derek - or whatever his name is - going into way too much detail yet again. Our arms are still linked together, so when Keegan comes to an abrupt halt after rounding the last corner, I’m jerked backwards, our bodies colliding into one another.

  “What in the world? You okay?” I ask Keegan as her arm slips out from mine. She’s staring blankly with her jaw gaping. I follow her line of vision, but all I see are boxes littering the sidewalk and an unmarked moving truck.

  When she just continues to stand there slack jawed, I start searching the area to figure out what’s managed to shut Keegan up for what has to be the first time in her life.

  A man steps out from the side of the truck, and now there are two of us frozen in place, causing people on the sidewalk to grumble and complain when they have to go around us. My legs just quit on me. Or maybe my brain quit working. Either way, the signal to move is just lost somewhere in the chaos, taking a backseat to my sex-drive since it decided to get really involved all of a sudden.

  My jaw drops open and mimics Keegan’s, and maybe a little drool slips out when I mutter, “holy hotness.” Strong, muscular forearms flex as he lifts a box, hoisting it on his hip to gain better control. I can’t say for certain, but I imagine it must be heavy, because those heavenly biceps are moving in small ripples, tightening in ways that have a woman picturing those strong arms holding her up against the wall with her legs wrapped around his waist.

  Speaking of his waist… When he shifts that box around again, his black t-shirt slides up, starting a tingly, very enjoyable sensations between my thighs. I’m not an idiot; I know what those feelings are, but I haven’t felt them as the ‘new’ me, so it’s a little intense. Until his stupid shirt falls back into place, taking away my view of those glorious abs.

  I thought his body – or the parts I could see of it, anyway – was a sight to behold. That is, until his face comes into full view, adding non-functioning lungs to the list of ways my body is failing me.

  Dark, unruly hair sits just above startlingly dark eyes. One or two-day-old scruff casts shadows on his face, giving an edge to an otherwise very His hair is dark, the shadow of facial hair on his face softens his sharp features, and my face tingles, wondering how his scruff would feel if I were to rub my cheek against his. Bright, almost incandescent blue eyes rest above prominent cheek bones. One drop of sweat is slowly dripping down from his temple to his jaw and my tongue darts out to wet my lips, my taste buds begging to taste the salty sweetness of his skin.

  Keegan has recovered herself, but I’m still literally slurping away at his imaginary sweat when his startling eyes lock with mine. I suck in my tongue quickly like some kind of sex crazed lizard. His mouth tightens and his eyes crinkle in the corners, but he’s not able to mask his expression enough for it to go unnoticed that he’s trying not to laugh.

  Damn. Am I that obvious?

  “Yep,” Keegan chirps, answering the question I didn’t mean to ask out loud. She practically skips in his direction, looking at him like he’s been dipped in chocolate and she’s got a craving for something sweet. His eyes never leave mine, not even when Keegan is standing right in front of him. I keep trying to will myself to look away, afraid I’ll drown in those blue

  Keegan clears her throat loudly, and I’m tempted to take advantage of their distraction to run inside and hide. I don’t have much in the way of instincts, but knowing what is and is not considered proper social etiquette appears to be one of them. Probably a good thing generally, but at this very moment, I’d much prefer to play the part of awkward weirdo if it meant not having to introduce myself to the intensely intimidating man standing next to Keegan.

  It’s not even his ridiculously sexy face or absurdly toned body that makes me literally afraid to approach him. There’s just something that seems almost...dangerous about him. I can’t put my finger on what’s making me feel that way though, and I’ve now spent so much time debating whether or not to bolt that I’ve lost my opportunity.

  “Brailey!” Keegan beckons me over. “This is our new neighbor, come say hi!” He reaches out his hand to shake mine, making the large box in his arms wobble, forcing him to yank his hand back to keep the box from falling.

  “Wyatt,” he responds tersely with a nod. I can’t tell if he’s annoyed that Keegan is trying to talk to him when he’s clearly busy or if he’s just getting tired from holding a heavy box, but either way, Keegan is oblivious to the frustration he’s not even trying to hide.

  “Okay, well it was nice meeting you. Welcom
e to the building. We’ll be seeing you around,” I say as I tug on Keegan’s arm, dragging her away from our new neighbor and into the safety of the building. My lungs start working again once I’m a safe distance away from Wyatt, and I prop myself up against the wall next to the stairwell.

  “Holy shit, B. Our new neighbor is delicious.” A deep throated chuckle reverberates from behind us, and I don’t need to turn around to know who it is. I can easily tell its Wyatt from the way the air thinned and my head got dizzy. Keegan makes a dramatic fanning gesture with her hand, and when I let myself steal a look backwards my cheeks immediately go a deep shade of red. Good God, he’s sexy.

  Keegan starts dramatically swooning and gushing over him, pretending like she’s trying to get loose from my grip so she can run to him as I drag her up the stairs. Sometimes I wonder if Keegan has an endless amount of confidence, or if she simply just doesn’t care what people think. More than half of the things she willingly does in public would be the cause of nightmares if it were me.

  Do you know how weird it is to be standing next to an almost six-foot-tall woman with the energy of a Chihuahua while she gushes over a stranger, showering them with endless compliments? She’s drawn to beauty like a moth to a flame, like a compulsion. She doesn’t discriminate against gender either, which had me having to outright ask her what her sexual preferences were.

  “Oh Brailey,” she’d said with a laugh. “You’re so uptight. Beauty is beauty, and people deserve to know it. I might be the only one that tells them that day - or month - how attractive they are. Everyone loves to feel attractive.”

  It’s not the only way she gives back, but it’s definitely the weirdest one.

  She’s still going on and on about how good looking Wyatt is as we walk into my apartment. There’s no use in me trying to deny it, because it’s totally true. Keegan may dole out compliments like it’s her job, and I don’t always agree with her opinion, but she’s right on the mark with this one. Wyatt is hands down the sexiest man I’ve ever seen in real life. Although to be fair, my memory only goes back about a month, so it’s not like I have much to go on.

  “Yes, he’s very attractive,” I say with a laugh, which of course earns an eye roll from Keegan. Something about admitting just how attractive I find Wyatt feels a little like exposing myself. I’m insecure in a plethora of ways, most of which I blame solely on the memory loss. I don’t know enough about myself to have much self-confidence, and Wyatt’s the first man I’ve felt an intense attraction to since waking up. I’m not really sure how to handle the whole situation, and until I figure it out, I’m not ready to openly swoon like Keegan currently is.

  “You should totally hit that,”

  “What?! No! You’re crazy! I’m not hitting anything. Besides, he’s way too hot for me.” Okay, so I hadn’t intended to freak out and get all defensive and self-deprecating, but she made the remark so casually that I sort of panicked.

  I shouldn’t have said he’s too hot for me. It’s not that I don’t find myself attractive, because I can see my appeal to the other sex. However, I am definitely a few levels beneath Wyatt on the hotness scale. His appeal is more intense and fiery, whereas mine is more tame and casual. It would be plain to any outsider to see that Keegan would make a much better fit with him physically.

  My hair is its natural color - which is a light blonde - falling just below my shoulders, with a light natural wave. Keegan’s is a platinum blonde with deep waves that fall just above her ass. I’m average height at about five and a half feet with a very small frame, with my decent sized chest being my only noteworthy asset. Keegan is just under six feet with dangerously long legs and a body full of curves.

  We couldn’t be more different if we tried, though this is the first time I’ve really compared myself to her. I’ve got so many other things on my mind that petty and shallow competitions with other girls has been the furthest thing from my thoughts. But when she throws out comments about me having sex with Wyatt? Yeah, that calls for a little fact facing, and apparently the fact is, my self-esteem isn’t as great as I thought.

  “B, you’ve got to quit doing that. You are gorgeous. How you don’t realize it is beyond me, but seriously, he would be lucky to hook up with someone like you.”

  I don’t really want a pep talk. As much as I appreciate Keegan’s overeager desire to make me feel better, I’m still coming down off the lust-high I felt in the two seconds I was near Wyatt.

  “What are you doing?” My butt hasn’t even hit the cushion before Keegan yanks on my arm and is dragging me behind her.

  “Get changed. We’re gonna get to know our new neighbor.” Even trying to argue with Keegan has proved to be pointless, but seeing as how she’s already picked out something for me to change into, it seems I’ve lost this argument before it even started. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to give her at least a little resistance.

  “Oh no we’re not! I’m exhausted. I’m staying right here and minding my own business.” My phone starts buzzing in my pocket, but Keegan throwing my clothes at my face knocks it out of my hand. By the time I pick it up I have a missed call from Mark.

  “No, we’re going to be neighborly and go help him move all his crap into his new apartment and make him be our friend. Just like I did to you the first day you moved in, and look how much better your life is for it,” she winks at me playfully.

  “Uh, you mean yesterday?”

  “Yep. So you and I are going to do the same thing for him. Now get your ass in there and change. You can’t help him move his stuff in that little dress of yours. I’ll be back in five and you better be ready.”

  Keegan bolts out of my room so quickly, I swear she leaves a cloud of dust behind her. Throwing my head back and growling loudly at the ceiling does little to relieve my frustrations.

  “I heard that!”

  Damn these paper thin walls.

  My reflection stares back at me, taunting me with imperfections. My fingers itch to pick up the compact sitting on my bathroom counter, but we’re just moving boxes. I’ll probably get all dirty and sweaty, so what’s the point in fussing with it? No amount of compressed powder is going to turn me into the kind of knockout who earns the attention from guys like Wyatt.

  Oh for crap’s sake. Why am I thinking and acting like an insecure thirteen-year-old girl?

  I’m attractive enough, and I don’t need to camouflage who I am to impress a man I don’t even know. As an adult woman I can understand the need for the dozens of beauty products scattered all around my bathroom, but that’s only when the time calls for it. Certainly a day of manual labor is not the type of occasion that warrants mascara and lip gloss. Right?

  Keegan returns to my apartment, making her presence known without having to say anything. She’s like a little ball of energy, just bouncing around and knocking stuff over any time she’s in a confined space. Time’s up. Keegan knocks around my kitchen long enough for me to brush my teeth and throw my hair into a messy ponytail.

  “C’mon, let’s go stare at that cute butt while it carries boxes up the stairs. Did you see his ass? Even through his jeans it looks delicious enough to bite.”

  “It’s okay to keep some things inside, Keegan. You don’t have always have to share.”

  Keegan changed from the shirt dress she was wearing into a pair of extremely short shorts and a tight fitting tank. The clothes she threw at me were similar, but I put those back and ended up throwing on a pair of jeans and a baby doll tee. No amount of eye-rolling from Keegan is going to get me to go back inside and change, and thankfully she lets it go. I just want to get this awkward day over with so I can put it behind me.

  “Sharing is caring,” Keegan says before strolling right on over to Wyatt’s stuff and grabbing a box. Wyatt is nowhere in sight, I send up a quick prayer, hoping this guy doesn’t have an issue with boundaries, because Keegan apparently likes to put herself all up in people’s personal space.

  “Uhhhh, are you trying to rob me?” I jump wh
en I hear Wyatt’s voice right behind me, and a high pitched squeak pops out of my mouth.

  “I don’t know, got anything worth stealing?” Keegan jokes. Wyatt’s lips turn up at the corners into a slight smile, pulling all my focus to his mouth. I bet he could do wonderfully sinful things with that mouth. Things that I don’t have to remember actually having done to me to know I want them now – and from him. If just looking at Wyatt instantly pulls such a physical response out of me, I can’t help but be afraid of what might happen if I’m near him for too long.

  “Which apartment do you live in?” Keegan’s impatient voice breaks me out of my vision of testing Keegan’s theory of whether or not his ass really is bite-able.

  Wyatt’s smile fades and shifts into a look I can’t read. If Keegan notices the change in him, she ignores it, just rolling her eyes and starting towards the door we just came out of.

  “Hurry up, playboy, this shit’s heavy,” she barely gets out before he swiftly swipes the box out of her hands. Keegan doesn’t even react other than to let out a huff before marching back to the moving truck. She picks up a few boxes to test out their weight before picking one light enough for her to carry.

  “Seriously, what are you doing?” He looks and sounds genuinely confused.

  “We’re helping you move, dumbass, what does it look like?” Wyatt looks stunned when Keegan starts muttering under her breath while shaking her head. “I swear; the pretty ones never have any brains. Probably bad in bed, too.”

  Those startling blue eyes of his just blink. Once, twice. The longer he goes without reacting, the more nervous I get. He wouldn’t be the first person to take offense to one of Keegan’s off-color jokes. I was witness to a handful of altercations between her and unsuspecting strangers while we were shopping, and that was all in just one outing.

  All I know about Wyatt so far is how stupidly attracted to him I am. Everything about him gives off a bad boy vibe. I can’t even put my finger on why I feel that way, but something about him just seems a little…dangerous.